Chris T. on Twitter!!

Eeeekkk! Oh-em-gee! I am now following Chris Tiu on Twitter. How cute. :o

I'm free

It puzzles me how I get weirder everyday. Like how I looked like I got my dream job as I went out of the Marine Science Institute building today — teary-eyed, smiling face and all. Man, I know it’s nuts but I was really elated a while back after my meeting with Ma’am Gisela. Totally unexpected that it turned out perfect, just not the way I imagined it would be. And soooooo, I am soooooo freeeee!…Oh, and jobless, by the way. :D

Ouch!

My back…my shoulders…my arms…my neck! Shouldn’t have practiced playing the violin that seriously. I didn’t push myself that hard, did I? See, I’m trying to play it perfectly but I ain’t perfect. Sadness. If not for my aching body parts, I would have played for an hour more or so. Good luck to tomorrow’s class!


Plus, I’m sick. Blame it on rainy days. This better be not THE virus that’s H1N1! I’m crossing my fingers…

The chicken in me

Just what is it with me?! After all my melodramatic overanalysis of things, crossing Rubicons and stuff, I ended up chickening out in the end. Booooo! Loser. I’m guilty as charged!


After 3 days at work, I decided to pull the plug. As to why I did it? It simply does not suit me and feels like I’d not be happy doing that job for a year. Maybe I can’t put up with the challenge of a project as big as it is or maybe the people, heck. Anyway, I know that in the future I’d be sorry I turned it down. I’ve had my dose of wasted chances. As a matter of fact, thinking about the past year, I realized how unthinkably I’ve passed up several opportunities. However, I’m more attached to the present than neither the past nor the future.


It’s actually hurting me that I can’t think of anything at all that I really want so bad in life. I came across this article that says,

True satisfaction comes from doing what you know you were created to do.

But the question lies on what am I really created to do. Still need to do some soul searching.

Happy birthday, Chris Tiu!

July 15.

Cracked nail and brain explosion

Overslept. More or less, I had about 13 hours of sleep last night. That’s to make up for my sleepless night the day before. Had to rush for my violin class so I merely slipped into my flip-flops and forgot that today is a lab day. Good luck to my feet! Well, starting yesterday everyday would be more or less a lab day except for weekends.


On the way to class, I noticed my cracked index fingernail. Wuhuhu, thanks to violin, which I’m loving, come what may. As soon as I make my first step inside the College of Music building, I can already feel the music! C’mon! Hearing the sounds coming from various instruments while walking along the hallway and corridors, wow, really puts me in high spirits. That’s why I always look forward to Tuesdays because of my violin class. Now, just how great is that? Save for the hassle of carrying my instrument in a jeepney. Still, just the same, no big deal for the hassle. 30 minutes of playtime is just awesome, getting better by the minute.


Enough of my cracked nail. The first two days of my future job was a blast! I say future job because it’d not be official til Thursday. Tomorrow’s Maria’s last day. Hopefully, I can make it through the hang-ups and eventually get the hang of it. Haven’t really felt the boss, though. I only met her once and she will not be visible at work til tomorrow. Oh, shoot! Which means…when she get back on Thursday, which is my official first day at work, I’d finally “see” her! And…she’ll finally have the chance to ambush interview me! Brrrrr…goosebumps! Back to my first two days, I was really overwhelmed by the responsibilities of my position. Information overload was the name of the game. In between Maria’s discussion of things, I find myself either spacing out or almost passing out. I was exhausted to death that for almost 8 hours a day for 3 days I was being told of this and that and these and those. Yeah sure, there are some of those things I already know of, but still there are more things that I need to familiarize myself with. That makes me think twice about doing this job. Yet another aversion to newness attack. Good luck!

Might be crossing a different Rubicon

Change of plans? Maybe. I’m at a loss.


I can’t believe I’m actually drinking coffee right now and planning not to sleep just to do some researching (yahoo-ing, I typed on the yahoo search bar) on “isolation and purification of bioactive compounds from marine organisms”. This is ludicrous defined! I thought of how ludicrous it is just now that I had to stop my searching (I’m only on the 6th page, item #1 of all search results: 51/38,200 results. Uh-oh. Sheez, I’m not planning on looking through all those! Maybe I should stop at page 6 while I still can.) and take time to blog about it.


It has been a long time since I last did this kind of academic routine. And my facebook status?

“can I really say goodbye to bum days??”

What what what? Starting yesterday, life’s giving me merely three days (Friday, Saturday, Sunday) to savor my freedom. Since I left my last job (which was mid-December of last year), I have been ultimately on a holiday-freeday-happyday mode, however you may call it. (That includes learning the German language and how to play the violin.) Might be hard to get it out of my system…but, bring it on! It’s just that things turned out to happen so abruptly — almost shocked me to death! Here’s how…

July 7, Tuesday
- received an email from Matet that there’s a job post at the Marine Science Institute for university researcher position

July 8, Wednesday
- thinking time…

July 9, Thursday
- finally sent an email of application to Dr. Gisela Concepcion
- received a reply from Dr. Concepcion telling me to see her Friday morning at her office
- started to research on the Philippines PharmaSeas Drug Discovery Project

July 10, Friday
- got interviewed by Dr. C. for I think less than 2 minutes, with asking my general weighted average (GWA) as the highlight of the “interview”. Here’s a paraphrased summary of our dialogue.

Dr. C. : You’re Raphlin?

Me : Yes, Ma’am.

Dr. C. : Yes, ok. Here’s Maria. She’ll show you around and tell you the things you need to know. Ok, so what’s your grade?

Me : (Ano daw?! Anong tanong? Grade? Oo, grade daw. So GWA? Oo yata. Ah wait…ah ok. Ngayon ko ba kelangang sagutin? Andami kayang tao dito…si Sir Gino, si Sir Louie, at kung sinu-sino pang di ko kilala. Capital O-M-G! Ang alam ko ambaba ng GWA ko eh…ano nga? Ang alam ko nasa recommendation letter ko yun from Ma’am Amor…wait…ah ok.)

Me : Ma’am, GWA is *.*

Dr. C. : Ah ok, pasado naman. Ok when can you start? If possible, sana ASAP.

Me : Ok, Ma’am. I can start on Monday. (Shoot! Sure ba ‘ako?! Bahala na.)

Practically, it took me about 10 seconds to answer the killer question.


Now I’m thinking if my getting that job was matter-of-factly and deliberately thought over by Dr. C. I guess not. Who knows? She might just have been preoccupied by a lot of things that day. I really wanted to tell her that I don’t have enough experience in bioassays and stuff and ask her if that’s fine. Not a chance. It’s really weird that I’m hoping for a reverse of fate that would disqualify me for the job. Feeling the pressure of having two of our chemistry instructors as workmates and considering how big (!!!) the project is, I can’t help but be browbeaten. Ok, so I’m chickening out and all, yes. Nonetheless, I have to constantly remind myself and accept the fact that “Hey Raph, this is the next level, this isn’t high school nor college anymore.” You have to STEP UP! As Melai puts it,

“Wala ng madali sa mundo.”

In reality, my problem may just be a grain of sand in a sandbox-sized problems of the world and I may be overanalyzing things here, but that’s the most rational thing I can think of to simply say to myself, in a consoling manner,

“You can do it!”

…and frankly,

“C’mon, get out of the box, coward!”

I figured that I am probably scared of falling short of people’s expectations. More often than not, I’d rather not try at all than fail. I’m just not cut out for the saying,

“It’s better to try and fail than to have never tried at all.”

Passing by Papemelroti, this one struck me bull’s eye,

“Everybody makes mistakes. That’s why they put erasers on pencils.”
-The Simpsons

So much for the quotable quotes, I should get back to business. I’m crossing my fingers for this different Rubicon I’m trying to cross.